Tirana, Albania: Craaaaazy Albanian Weather and WAS THAT A BOMB!?

Whoa, boy, did I sleep hard. I probably could have slept for about fifteen hours straight. Unfortunately, I got four hours. We had to get up early for we were off to the next city, Tirana, the capital of Albania! With our luggage in hand, our group left behind the ancient walls of Kotor. Suddenly, out of the depths of the moat... THERE WAS A SHARK ATTACK!!

It took one look at our group of hung-over idiots and was like, UH. UM. NEVERMIND BYE.

The tour company, G Adventures, rented a private bus for us. So we loaded our stuff on to the vehicle. By "stuff" I mean ourselves. We were so out of it we were basically luggage. Then I found a hat!

Don't I look like a face full of fashion? Speaking of face, Pat, haha, what is happening? Why is yours like that?

We bid farewell to Montenegro. A couple posts back, I mentioned the ruins/abandoned buildings we saw in Perast, right? Well, we saw a few more when we were kayaking around the Bay. It turned out, there was an interesting legality that existed in this region. Essentially, a plot of land will ALWAYS be the responsibility of whichever family owns it. Unfortunately, because of the wars in the nineties, a lot of landowning families fled... and never came back. Those plots of land though, those buildings, still remain in their name, and the government does not have the right to reclaim or repossess them. So, until those families come back, that land will be... well... unoccupied... in perpetuity. This, to me, was an unexpected and poignant reminder of the long-lasting effects of war.

We crossed into Albania. Our passports were checked and marked, and we continued to drive along the coast. I spent this time napping. At a certain point, the bus pulled over. We looked out towards the sea and saw this beautiful island.

I go to there now.

Unfortunately, that was a private island, a very very very expensive private island. We were told it was around 40 million U.S. dollars to rent it...

Anyone wanna split it with me? If we get a million people it would only be like, forty bucks. THAT'S SO CHEAP.

I took this opportunity to look around. This was my first time in Albania. I gotta say, it wasn't what I expected.

I have to admit though, I had no idea WHAT to expect.

We got back on the bus and continued to drive towards Tirana, the capital of Albania. A couple hours passed before we began to see urban development. There was a considerable amount of dilapidation. Apartment buildings, gas stations, and office buildings flew by us. Eventually, we were in the center of Tirana. My first impression of the city was its perceptible wealth disparity. Much of the infrastructure seemed new and characteristic of a first world country, but then we saw children walking between the cars on the highway begging for money. There were also a lot of stray dogs... a LOT of stray dogs.

I write this without any judgement on the economic status of Albania. But it is something I feel compelled to point out.

Our driver got lost. It took a long while before we could actually find our hostel. Once we finally did, we were assigned our rooms, and I took a quick shower. The shower, funny enough, had no curtain and no separation between it and the rest of the bathroom. So... THE BATHROOM WAS SOAKED after I was done. BWAHAHAHA YOU'RE WELCOME NINA AND ALEX.

Then we met up with the rest of the group at a very lovely restaurant down the street. I asked the waiter what he recommended, and he suggested the steak. So I went for it.

Steak in a cheesy cream sauce. MEAT AND CHEESE IN ONE BITE. WIN.

I did feel strange that I hadn't had any vegetables for the past week and a half, so I ordered a side of grilled veggies as well.

LOOK, MA, I'M HEALTHY.

So that restaurant was a very fancy place. From the dishes you saw above, you'd expect I would have paid about forty dollars, at least, right?

Ten bucks.

And as Nina pointed out to me later on, there were children begging for food less than a block away.

After lunch, our guide gave us a quick orientation tour of the city. Most importantly, he pointed out the ATM's. As we were withdrawing cash, a huge armored truck pulled up on to the sidewalk, and several armed guards with AK-47's positioned themselves around it. I thought the machine guns were a little excessive, but I suppose it was necessary. I didn't even want that money and I was nervous. We all felt it was time to get out of the area as quickly and soundlessly as possible. So we gave the truck ample space as we walked back towards the central square.

One of the main plazas in the central district.

I'd like to point out the mosque in the picture above. This was the first time we saw a mosque on the trip. Albania had a significant Muslim population, evidently much larger than in Croatia or Montenegro.

The central square was busy with traffic and activity, including the back of Alyssa's head.

We had heard that the marketplace in Tirana was a sight to see. We followed our maps to where we thought it was. We were wrong. And we were lost. But with the help of this adorable and sweet Albanian woman Nina found, we were able to reorient ourselves and find the market.

Ahhh, the sweet scent of deals!

Unfortunately, we arrived at the marketplace later on in the day, when most of the shops were closing up. However, I was impressed with their selection of olives.

Whole Foods, eat your heart out.

We walked the entire length of the market, which was several blocks. As we exited, we looked at the sky and noticed it was getting much darker. Strange, since less than an hour ago the weather was beautiful. Our new Albanian friend pointed out that this was typical for Tirana. It's geographical location, in between mountain ranges and the sea, gives the area a tumultuous weather pattern.

Yikes. I'd hate to be here in Winter.

We began walking back towards the hostel when we happened across a supermarket that had things we needed: bottled water, snacks, booze, etc. As we tried to leave, the weather broke.

It rained. Hard. And then it hailed.

Hard. After about a half hour, it seemed to be letting up. So we decided to risk getting wet and headed back to the hostel. We rinsed, changed clothes, and were ready to head into the night for some Albanian dinner. Our guide had been informed that there was an incredible restaurant across the river in one of the "hip" neighborhoods of Tirana. So we started walking there. As we were passing through the central square, we all heard an explosion. Everyone on the street jumped. Bright lights illuminated the street and smoke smothered it.

THANKFULLY, after scaring the crap out of everyone, we realized it was just some fireworks. Yeesh! I think I lost ten years of my life from that.

So it was a far walk to the restaurant. We got lost several times. But we finally found it. I was ravenous. I ordered a starter of baked feta with veggies and spices, and an Albanian home-style casserole, which was essentially baked mashed potatoes with meat, cheeses, and more spices. 

Oh. And beer. Duh.

So, that may not look like much. But, and I'm being totally serious right now, this was FANTASTIC. I don't know what it was about it, the spices, the authenticity, I have no idea, but it was honestly the best food I'd had so far. The spicy baked feta was something I would totally make here in the States, and the casserole was like a spiced shepherd's pie. It was so simple. But SO. UNBELIEVABLY. GOOD.

After dinner we felt exhausted and stuffed with goodness. While some of the others decided to go out and party it up, the gang and I headed back to the hostel... or at least... we tried to. We got lost. Again. We found ourselves in some dark, seemingly scary, parts of Tirana. But thankfully, we didn't lose our cool. We headed back towards the well-lit streets, and eventually found our way back to the central square. Once we got there, we knew exactly where we needed to go to get back to the hostel.

Once we got back, we chatted for a bit, and quickly found ourselves fast asleep.

Montenegro: Getting Swept Out to Sea & Attacked by Goats! How was your day?

Good morning, Montenegro! Today was our adventure day, so Nina, Pat, Alison, and I got up early to make the best of it. We looked out of our hostel window to the plaza below.

I am the Sofia Loren of Kotor.

So the four of us and our tour guide walked over to the bay and tried to find some water adventure sports. We had heard that kayaking in the Bay of Kotor was a MUST DO. So we MUST DID. Unfortunately, we couldn't find the rental shop. We spent about an hour trying to locate it. Turns out, it was where we thought it was originally, but it wasn't open yet. Ugh. We got up early for nothing! Once the Kayak shop was ready, we rented our boats. Nina and I shared one boat, while Pat and Alison shared another. We got our life jackets on, and into the bay we went!

Though the view was great, my life jacket smelled like dead fish. Also... America's Cup?? Wtf?

This was my first time kayaking by the way. EVER. It was such an unexpected feeling, to be this little boat in the middle of this HUGE bay, with all these mountains and villages around us. I felt very intimidated.

I also didn't know how to row. Evidently you have to use muscle? I only have fat made from booze so... uh... I was at a loss.

I have to admit though, the water was surprisingly easy to move through. And the view was stunning. At times we purposely didn't row so we could just sit and stare in wonder. 

The water was very salty though... very very salty.

As we rowed along, we realized we had no idea where to go.

In the distance we saw a beach, or a sliver of a beach.

Somewhere... right over there. Right there. You see it?

So we crossed the bay, paddled past the sea monsters, and brought our small boats ashore. Then we got out and went for a swim on a secluded beach.

Nina being sassy, Pat splashing Nina, Alison watching, me laughing.

I cannot stress enough how breathtaking the view was. The water felt like cold salty bathwater. Further down the coast we saw some fellow kayakers.

We resolved to sink them.

In the video below I try to show the panorama. Apparently, videos on this blog only play if you're on a desktop. I need to figure out how to change that. Because that's stupid. Technology is so great and so stupid. Cheers to that.

I wanted to spend the entire day on this beach, just lounging around.

This view has remained largely unchanged for 500 years.

But unfortunately, we had more exploring to do. DARN. So we got back into our kayaks and crossed back over to the other side of the bay.

WE PADDLE STRONG LIKE MEN.

So when we crossed, we realized that on this side the water was much rougher, and the current was much stronger. Also, the current was taking us away from where we wanted to go. We only had so much time with these rented kayaks, about four hours, and I was starting to get worried that we would miss getting back on time, and we would be charged for ANOTHER four hour time slot. So we paddled harder and harder. The salty water was starting to get into our eyes, blinding us. Nina periodically screamed in pain as the salt water rendered her useless. I could feel the salt crusting on my beard and in Nina's hair. Twenty minutes went by, and it felt like we had been rowing for a lifetime. When we looked up, we realized we had gotten NOWHERE.

This was pretty much the same view we had for forty five minutes of aggressive paddling. IT WAS HELL. 

Somehow, SOMEHOW, we were able to make it out of that treacherous current. We got back to the kayak station with plenty of time to spare. My arms felt numb. If this was what it took to build muscle, NO. THANKS. So we left our boats behind, and walked back to the hostel to shower off the salt. I cannot tell you how much salt was on us. My red shirt turned WHITE. I ran my hand through my hair and salt crystals would fall out. Lemme tell you though, I had never tasted so delicious.

After our showers, we were ready for some food. So we ventured into the Old Town to find some grub.

I loved the small winding streets here.

Even though the Old Town was small, it felt like a maze. Finding our way around became an adventure of its own. One street turned into a plaza which turned into many streets and eventually you found yourself in New Zealand.

Just kidding. But it became hard to navigate our way through the town. The only way to orient ourselves was by using the mountains. 

And then I saw boobies.

Why, boobies, why?

So we continued to walk through the streets, trying to find the perfect dining spot. 

Wouldn't it be cool if there was a restaurant in that bell tower?? Ugh. Also, old man there is having a rough day. He kinda reminds me of the BFG.

After some searching, we found a place. I ordered a traditional Montenegrin... uuuuhhhhhh... THING.

Five bucks if you can tell me what this is!

Though I can't spell or pronounce what it was called, I can tell you that it was deep fried goodness. It was fried meat stuffed with more meat and cheese. I feel like that's all I ever eat. What is wrong with me?

After lunch and my regular two huge glasses of beer, we decided to go for a hike.

Tell me why you think I took a picture of this...

So on the mountain of St. John, which was directly behind the Old Town, there was a large fortress, which apparently provided fantastic views of the Bay of Kotor. Since we were only here for one whole day, we needed to see it.

We knew the hiking trail would be somewhere towards that mountain.

The incline was getting steep. We walked all the way to the base of the mountain, and found a large stone staircase going up. We started climbing, and it didn't take long for the views to start to pay off.

The beer and fried meat in my stomach wasn't getting as much out of it, though...

The stairs kept going and going. We kept climbing and climbing.

If it weren't for the view I would have probably thrown up, cried, and taken a nap.

We reached a small chapel, and decided to take a breather.

By we I mean me. These old bones...

I decided to force Nina, Pat, and Alison to pose for the camera. They all decided to do an impression of a small girl who was all too aware of her beguilement.

aka Pat's niece.

Then Nina crossed the line.

Nina, the robot flamingo.

We took a large swig of water, and moved on. We looked up to see how much more we had to climb.

... kinda feels like we're in Super Mario? Is that Bowser's castle?? IS IT THOUGH??

As we hiked up the stairs, I would periodically look back at the fantastic scenery.

It felt surreal. Was this real life?

I couldn't fully conceive that this was where I was, on a huge mountain heading to a ruined fortress overlooking an ancient city in a gorgeous valley with some incredible friends.

This is why I travel.

There would be no way to fully describe the views. Thank goodness I don't have to. THANKS, PHOTOGRAPHY.

Everyone just... shhh... shhhhhhhh....

As we were climbing, we stumbled upon this small doorway. It led through one of the ruined walls, and there was a trail on the other side. The four of us looked at each other.

Alice in Wonderland?

There was a simultaneous, almost psychic, understanding. We went through the opening, together.

On the other side was a totally different trail. It felt like we discovered a new world. It led to a small village.

We had heard that there could be snakes, scorpions, and other wild creatures in this area, so we were very cautious. As we followed this mysterious trail, I glanced back and was overwhelmed.

How FREAKIN' cool is that!?

We walked towards the strange village.

It didn't seem inhabited, at first.

But we were wrong. It was inhabited. OH, IT WAS INHABITED, ALL RIGHT.

Inhabited by mountain goats!! AAUUUGHHHH!

At first I saw only one or two. Then three... then a few more... all clustered around this ruined chapel.

Chapel of the Goats?

Then there were more goats... and more... AND EVEN MORE. Suddenly, I heard Alison scream. Then the scream was followed by dozens of hooves clomping on the rocks. IT WAS A STAMPEDE!

There's Alison scampering away.

At first I saw only a few, then suddenly there were dozens all around. They seemed to come out of nowhere!

Once the goats regained their composure, (we are still mystified as to why they all of a sudden decided to freak out at nothing... it was probably Alison... could she communicate with them?? WAS SHE A QUEEN OF THE GOATS???) we debated hiking further down the trail. We could see at the far end of the valley a grouping of dwellings, which were definitely in use... by people, for once. 

Maybe they has more beers!?

Unfortunately, we were on a time crunch. We needed to meet up with the rest of the group for dinner. So we decided to head back to the main path and continue hiking up the mountain, towards Bowser Castle.  

PAT STOP TAKING PICTURES OF OUR BUTTS. WE KNOW THEY'RE GREAT BUT JEEZ!!

We climbed back through the opening, and were once again greeted by this magnificent but dizzying view.

Feels like I could just step over this wall and end up on that cruise ship.

We continued climbing up. Man, I thought my arms were going to be sore tomorrow from the kayaking, but it looked like my legs were also going to be killing me. At a certain point, I was able to get most of the Old Town in a photo.

It's a triangle!

We climbed a little further, and FINALLY! WE REACHED BOWSER CASTLE!

I am not ashamed that we sang the Mario theme song VERY LOUDLY. I think it was entirely justified.

The fortress was mostly in ruins.

Well, it was fine right before we got there, but then Nina went crazy and destroyed everything, like the little falafel of terror that she is.

So the Old City (or Old Town, whatever) of Kotor has been around for a long time. It was first settled by the Romanized Illyrians around 168 BC. The fortress above it, where we were, on the mountain of St. John, was built during that same time. But throughout the next, oh, THOUSAND+ years, each new empire that took control of the region would construct their own addition to it. Though it clearly was no longer in use, the fortifications had Illyrian, Byzantine, Venetian, and Austrian architectural influences. Napoleon even got in on some of this sweet stuff. 

I can't help but imagine that little man on this giant mountain, looking around, thinking... yikes, I'm really small.

The fortress was GIANT. It was a never ending complex of stone structures, ramparts, and all that other war crap.

And tourists! Don't forget tourists!

It was haunting to walk around the barracks and armories and think that this castle had more than fifteen hundred years of war history.

All leading up to ME visiting it! ...WHY AM I SO SMALL. Okay, I can't ever make fun of Napoleon again.

We explored the fortifications more, and realized that the sun was starting to set. We needed to get back down the mountain to meet the rest of the group for dinner. Climbing down was more treacherous than going up. The stairways were often uneven and rocky. There were several points where we almost slipped. Thankfully, with care, we got down in record time.

This was atop the last staircase separating the town from the mountain.

We walked to the hostel (it took us a minute to find it again), and met with the rest of the group. Our guide took us down the street to another hostel, where for only a couple bucks, we were treated to a home-cooked authentic Montenegrin meal!

Steamed rice with veggies, roasted chicken, and a coleslaw/salad thing.

THIS WAS WHERE THE GOOD FOOD WAS AT. You guys, that rice was one of the best things I had ever eaten. The chicken was cooked perfectly. I wanted to eat more but from all the exercise I got today I thought I was going to explode. I should've taken some with me. You know, like, taken some of the rice and just poured it in my backpack and then I would be eating it RIGHT NOW. RIGHT. NOW.

I'm hungry.

After dinner we all went outside and walked to a bar nearby. We drank and swapped stories from the day. After a few rounds, we decided to go off and explore the city at night.

There's Bowser castle... looming over us...

We visited a few more bars, laughed, talked, and got to know each other. This was undoubtedly one of my favorite days so far.

I can still feel my arms and legs aching though.

Heck, it was totally worth it.