DUde, BRO, my V-NECK! (Dubrovnik. Get it?? GET IT!? I THINK GOOD.)

Ahhhh, a new day! We slept in a bit. That, combined with yesterday's sorely needed R&R, made us feel recharged and ready to face the day. So a group of us, those who hadn't left yet, set off for Dubrovnik's Old City. From our hostel, we walked along the main road about twenty minutes. Due to the lack of well-marked signs, we got out our maps, and tried to figure out the direction we wanted to go. We stumbled along, and finally found a... sign... of sorts:

I wonder how many different Old Cities there might be in this crazy town...

The arrow pointed away from the main road. After some discussion, we decided to follow our strange graffiti markers. Though it diverged from the primary thoroughfare, I believed the "sign" indicated a short cut, and a route better suited for pedestrians. We followed the narrow off-street for a few minutes before it suddenly opened up to this:

FINALLY, WE'RE AT KING'S LANDING. Wait, but where's Dubrovnik?

We kept walking until we reached the main entrance to the Old City (or Old Town), which was across a small bridge and through a grand stone gate.

mmkay am I in a medieval fairy tale?

We were about to enter, but I suddenly noticed a gelato shop to my right.

I'm an adult, so I had mango gelato for breakfast.

NO REGRETS.

The sudden influx of sugar may have impaired my judgement and/or sanity, because for some reason I thought it was a great idea to pretend I was a gnome in a tree trunk.

ALL THE REGRETS.

With my sugar rush just setting in, we entered the city like tiny kings. Our first view was breathtaking.

Huge stone buildings lined the street... yet... everything seemed so brand new...

Since I am a bonafide sugar pirate (jesus what is wrong with me), I was instantly drawn to this curious store front.

CANDIED PIRATES!?

Nina wanted to join me on my sugar rampage and got herself some sweets and treats. I was getting very hyper. So we continued down the street. I love rhyming. As we walked, we came across this beautiful cathedral.

The architecture was stunning and complex, but it somehow seemed out of place with the rest of the neighborhood. It looked so much older and worn down.

Across the way from the church, a band began playing.

Don't you just love it when you're shooting a video or taking a photo, and people walk DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU!? Like, SERIOUSLY, OLD DUDE, YOU LOOKED DIRECTLY AT ME AND BASICALLY WALKED INTO MY CAMERA AND YOU KNEW I WASN'T HOLDING IT IN FRONT OF MY FACE FOR MY HEALTH. Ugh. Tourists.

Then I noticed this curious statue in front of the church. It was a warrior wielding a sword. It was interesting because it gave the impression that he was about to jump out and fight you. 

Ironically, sword fighting is not my forte. Also, little kid in front was either pretending to shoot Nina or affirming her sexiness. Let's go with the latter. Also, little kid, what is your deal? Your hat is stupid.

Nearby, we saw another statue of a man with a very shiny nose. Nina, in her sugar-induced drunkenness, wanted to be held like a baby.

Hush little baby, please shut up...

Turns out the statue was of Marin Držić, who was considered Croatia's finest Renaissance playwright and prose writer. Thank you Wikipedia. His nose was shiny because people kept rubbing it. People kept rubbing it, not for good luck, but because it was one hell of a schnozzola. What else are big bronze schnozzolas for?

We looped around to the back of the church, and saw this cute little happening.

Priest Party! Just kidding, they're just taking their yearbook photos. I wonder who's getting the best dressed superlative??

I am fully aware that that was a stupid joke. Anyway, behind the church we spied this little alleyway. The main street was getting packed with tourists. We followed it, not knowing where it would end up.

Hopefully it would lead us somewhere with more candy? I'm starting to crash.

The alleyway led up to a plaza with another, much bigger, beautiful cathedral.

This one seems rather new. 

We were able to go inside and see beautiful frescoes which lined the walls of the altar.

Extravagant is a word that doesn't seem to do it justice.

In one corner, there was a little alcove. It resembled a cave, and inside it were all these plants and flowers, with a statue of the virgin Mary.

As if she's in her own little secret garden.

We exited the Church of the Secret Garden. To our left there was a giant staircase which led back to the main street. We climbed down it, and once we looked back we were struck by how familiar it was.

SHAME. SHAME. (Game of Thrones fans will get it.) SHAME. *ding ding*

And we were shamed. We continued down the street and up to another part of the city. It led us around the harbor,

Helllooooooo Harbor!

And through a gate on the far side.

Lady in the pink shirt, get out of my shot. Your hat is stupid, too.

We continued walking along the coast and noticed that there were a few public beaches.

Hopefully they have a bar?

And we found a great beach that would be perfect for an afternoon in the sun.

BEYOND PERFECT.

But first, we needed food. Our tour guide told us that he would take us to a fantastic restaurant that was near the fountain, back where we first entered. So we walked back to meet him. 

Strangest looking fountain I've ever seen. Kinda cool, though. Can I live in it?

We met up and he took us to the restaurant. It was off one of the side streets. It was an asian-fusion restaurant. I would never in a million years expect to find an asian-fusion restaurant in Croatia. 

First course? Blueberry wine.

My entree was a banana in curry served with brown rice.

It may not look like much, but it was freakin' delicious. One of the best meals I think I've ever had. The flavors were intricate,  and not too intense. It was also probably the healthiest thing I've eaten so far, hah.

After our delicious lunch, we headed back towards the beaches. Thankfully, we knew right away which one we wanted because of its warning signs.

It is forbidden sex? Can I have an order of just regular sex on the beach or... no?

I changed into a swimsuit and spent some time on the sand, but I was feeling a little restless. As relaxing as it would have been to just take a nap in the sun and go for a swim, I wanted something a little more adventurous. Dubrovnik was like nothing I'd ever seen before, and I wanted to do some more exploring.

I know, I know, I must be crazy to want to pass this up.

Alex and I had both heard about the city walls of Dubrovnik, and how they were known to provide incredible views. I felt like I had seen so little of the area, and nothing would satiate my inner traveler quite like a hike around the entire Old Town. So we walked back to one of the entrances to the walls.

Back to the strange fountain again.

You do have to pay a small fee to get onto the walls, but I'd have to say the payoff was immediate.

Now that's something you don't see every day.

The stairs up to the wall were steep.

But clearly it didn't take long to see why so many tourists visited here. Also the top of that fountain looks like a nipple.

Alex and I got to the top of the walls, and started walking along it.

It felt like we were walking along the walls of a giant medieval fortress. Oh wait. We were.

I know these pictures are pretty cool, but I cannot truly demonstrate how breathtaking these views were.

Believe me, they get even better.

It was one of those situations where I didn't know where to point my camera. I honestly didn't even know where to look first. Everything was so beautiful.

Also that sky, c'mon. We totally lucked out.

As we walked along the walls towards the coast, we started noticing that parts of the city were ruins.

Beautiful... but strange. The contradiction between the brand new tourist areas and these dilapidated areas didn't seem to make much sense to me.

So, I'm gonna nerd out a little bit here. Before I went on this trip, I did some research on the region. I found Croatia, and the former Yugoslavia in general, absolutely fascinating, especially Dubrovnik.

It was so validating to be able to come here and see that my fascination was totally warranted.

So back during the middle ages and the renaissance, Dubrovnik was a HUGE deal. The city was extremely wealthy, and even rivaled the Venetian Empire.

It had several natural harbors and impenetrable fortifications, which made it ideal for trade. 

AND NOW IT HAD KAYAKS.

I SEEEE YOUUU.

The one thing I knew about this region was that throughout history, it rarely had control over its sovereignty. It was almost constantly under the influence of a foreign superpower. Everyone, including the Romans, the Venetians, the Hungarians, the Austrians, the French, the Ottomans, the Hapsburgs, the Axis powers, EVERYONE YOU CAN THINK OF, had, at some point, control over much of this region. Yet somehow, during the middle ages, Dubrovnik was a MASTER of diplomacy. Known back then as Ragusa, it was a city-state, and through cunning and political savvy, it was able to establish its autonomy, and largely govern its own affairs. At least, for a while.

Then eventually it was integrated with the rest of the country, and after WWII, it became a part of Yugoslavia... and we ALL KNOW HOW WELL THAT TURNED OUT.

As Alex and I continued walking the wall, we noticed that parts of it seemed to go right by people's backyards, we could even see into their kitchens and bedrooms.

Invite me for dinner, please? Free food? Yes?

As we continued, we kept noticing how some parts of the city looked brand new, and other parts looked incredibly old. It took us a while to figure out why that was.

It wasn't random let me tell you. Also, this hike ain't exactly the easiest.

As we were discussing different possibilities and explanations, we noticed that there were several beach clubs ON THE CLIFFS.

We looked for ways to get to these clubs later. No idea. Secret invisible passages within the walls maybe? I just... I have... no clue.

There was a definite reason for why some parts of the city were newer than others. It was because of the war that happened in the nineties. Everyone, I'm sure, knows about the Yugoslavian break-up. If not, LOOK IT UP, FOOLS. We might not all know the details of it, but basically, Yugoslavia was under Soviet influence, and when the USSR collapsed in the last part of the 20th century, so did the Yugoslavian government. See, Yugoslavia was not really a country, it was an amalgamation of several different countries that had always been lumped together by the surrounding European powers, and not always by the choice of the local population. Different religions, ethnicities, and languages were forced to get along under one authoritarian rule, and once those rules were gone, so was the status quo. Thus, law and order were discarded. Land, cities, people, everything, was up for grabs. The region was thrown into chaos, and it got bad. Real bad. There exists a long list of war atrocities, the worst of which is genocide, ethnic-cleansing. Dubrovnik, despite its glorious history and architecture, was not spared. 50%-75% of the city was destroyed or damaged during the conflict.

Much of it has been repaired. But clearly not all.

So this was the first time during the entire trip that we were faced with Croatia's ugly past. Though the conflict was over, and the region had regained some stability (particularly Croatia due to its blossoming tourist industry), some of its scars had not completely healed.

It was so heart wrenching to see a city with such unique beauty and historical significance have such a war-torn past.

But these days things were much different. I have to say that Croatia, and especially Dubrovnik, had bounced back. They had rebuilt a huge portion, and it seemed to be paying off. Dubrovnik was FILLED with tourists, tourists with expendable income, and the locals undeniably took advantage.

Just look at this idiot tourist. Oh wait, that's me.

So Alex and I continued walking along the wall, swept up in our conversation about the history of the city and the country. It undoubtedly made us appreciate the strength and resilience of the Croatian people.

Especially since they've replaced military defenses with parking lots.

As we walked, we noticed the walls were getting higher and higher.

And the views were becoming even more breathtaking.

We could see a clear view of Dubrovnik's main harbor.

The same harbor that has been in operation for more than a thousand years.

I didn't really know which part of the city would make a better photo, SO I TOOK PHOTOS OF ALL OF IT.

Don't be mad, okay?

A large tower was at the highest point of the walls.

Ah, the original Bowser Castle.

Alex and I climbed to the top of the tower, and tried not to pee ourselves.

It was really high, you guys.

Then I threatened some passersby and forced them to take a neat pic of us.

WALL BESTIES.

It was right after the tower that we realized we had COMPLETED THE WALL HIKE. We had actually walked around the entire Old Town. I felt accomplished! So we descended the treacherous stairs and returned to street level, then met up with the others, who were just getting back from the beach. Then we headed back to the hostel, for very soon, we were going to meet our new group of travelers! They would be coming with us to Montenegro, Albania, and Greece!

While we waited for the orientation meeting, we congratulated ourselves with some wine and youtube videos. 

After about an hour we went downstairs for the meeting and to introduce ourselves to our new companions. Our new tour guide was a Viking overlord (just kidding, he was Scottish), and everyone else seemed pretty nice. After going over our itinerary for the next week, we all went back into the Old Town for some dinner.

I, of course, got my own gigantic pizza pie. It was a seafood pizza! AND IT WAS GOOD.

Then I made the waiter take a picture of our new group.

He took the liberty of including himself in it.

After dinner, Pat and Alison found out that their friends from Australia were in town, so we went with them to meet their old buddies.

They were at a bar that served drinks in a sand pail. SO I GOT ONE. IT WAS AWFUL.

From there we went along the main street and out through the far side of the city wall. We went up some stairs and into an old stone building, and found this:

DANCE CLUB TIME.

After many drinks and much dancing, Nina and I, along with our new tour friends, walked back to the hostel. Along the way there was a group of Croatian boys drinking some type of flavored vodka. They were kind enough to let me drink some. As I said, the locals were very friendly. Once we got back to our rooms, Nina and I discussed the day's events. Then I had to blow my nose suddenly. So I took a tissue and blew what might have been half my body weight into it. Needless to say, it was gross. Nina was nice enough to point that out, and told me, "Ew. That was a lot of snot,"

And we laughed and laughed and laughed into the night until I passed out on top of my covers fully clothed and with all the lights on.

It was a great day.