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| Um, steward, I'd like a little more ocean, please? |
When we saw the waves swelling around us, a little bit of nausea set in. We realized we needed something to eat pronto or we would blow chunks all over the balcony. So we went up to deck 12 to the buffet to get some breakfast grub.
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| The only time I can be hungover and still look like a douche. MY PARADISE. |
While walking through the buffet, I still felt overwhelmed by the variety of food choices. Everything looked great. After what felt like half an hour, I settled on utter decadence.
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| Two eggs benedict, two sausages, and a chocolate croissant. Total caloric intake? 250 million. |
After breakfast, we decided to explore the ship. It was still a little chilly outside and very windy, so I had to wear jeans and a long sleeve shirt. We walked through the Cafe towards the stern of the ship, where the restaurant opened up onto a large patio. From there we could see what the ship left in its wake.
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| Utter destruction! The water is surprisingly blue, though. |
Then we walked up another deck onto the "fun deck". Historically, on older ships, it would be the boat deck. I preferred to call it the roof deck. CUZ I'M A REBEL.
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| REBEL WITH A DRUNKEN CAUSE. These stairs lead up to the rock climbing wall! It's way too cold and windy to rock climb, unfortunately. What do you want me to do, DIE ON A ROCK CLIMBING WALL? Is that what you WANT?? What the hell!!! |
As we kept walking back towards the bow, we discovered the pool deck. The area included two large pools, six jacuzzis, and a water slide. At this time only a couple people were enjoying these amenities. They were mostly in the jacuzzis.
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| I LOVE the kitschy palm tree lamps. Makes me feel like I'm in a tropical paradise in the eighties! |
Suddenly, a shocking memory flashed before my eyes! The previous night, during our drunken revelry, I forced Sam to sign us up for a wine tasting at 2 pm. Thankfully, it was only half past one, so we had plenty of time to mosey over there and get a good seat. The tasting was located on deck 7 or 8 (I don't remember and who the freak really cares) at the specialty French restaurant called, Le Bistro.
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| We got there early enough to get a great table. Six wines were included, and their labels were written underneath on a sheet of paper. We also had cubes of cheese and some crackers as well. |
As the sassy sommelier went on and on about the different blends and smells and protocols of tasting and crap, I WAS JUST SO HAPPY TO BE SURROUNDED BY SO MUCH BOOZE, I had Sam take a glamour shot.
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| Let's call this the before picture, shall we? |
The sassy sommelier lady knew her shit. She knew her shit like the back of her hand. Like the back of her hand was covered in shit and she knew it. We explored the look, the smell, the legs (?), and the taste of the wine. Then each wine was paired with one of the cheeses. It was amazing to taste the difference between wine on its own and wine paired with food. As I mentioned previously, SHE KNEW HER SHIT. HER SHIT WAS KNOWN. At the risk of sounding like a french snob, each wine truly opened up a bouquet of flavors, once you followed the right tasting process. It was surprisingly informative, and also...
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| IT WAS FUN TO GET DRANK. This is what I refer to as, "The After Picture". |
Once we finished the wine tasting, we were hit by another memory from the previous night. We ALSO signed up for a MARTINI TASTING right after! Thankfully, the wine tasting didn't last too long, so we had a little time to kill. I chose to spend this time by insulting Sam. As one naturally does, AMIRIGHT?
Then I found another lady encased in carbonite!
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| Man, these guys make Jabba look like an amateur. |
So about a bazillion people showed up to the martini tasting. So many people, in fact, that they ran out of martini glasses! So I got mini coke glasses or something.
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| We got us a cosmo martini... a tequila martini... and vodka martini... I think there was a coconut martini... and a blue martini. Blue is a flavor! |
We also made friends with the three couples sitting near us! They were very friendly, and counted me as a "bro" among men. Or something. ...
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| I couldn't do a gang or hand symbol so I did the whitest thing anyone could ever possibly do... |
After the wine and martini tasting, we were sufficiently wasted. We needed food. So we, with our new friends in tow, went to one of the nicer included restaurants onboard. It was the Magenta restaurant. It was very similar to a fancy steakhouse.
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| Then someone stole my camera and took a picture of these knuckleheads. |
I don't remember much of dinner to be honest. I think I ordered some kind of soup. Or I ate someone else's soup. I know there was definitely soup involved. But after dinner the couples wanted to go to some kind of couples game show at the Spinnaker Lounge. Sam and I had nothing else planned so, why not?
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| Bad decision. |
The couples convinced Sam to enter our names into the show. No one ever thought that we would get picked and it was more of a joke than anything else. Once the show started, it turned out it wasn't just a couples games show, but a NEWLYWED game show. They were looking for three couples, one that had just been recently married, another that was around 15 years down the line, and a third that was over 25 years. Sam and I were picked... as the recently married couple. We had to pretend to be a recently married same-sex couple in front of at least two or three hundred strangers. According to the cruise director, we were only the second same-sex couple to have been chosen to do this in his career. We would then be judged and ranked based on our responses to some... intimate questions... DON'T WORRY. Oh, don't you worry. There IS a DVD of this. It was awkward, hilarious, and fun, and for the remainder of the vacation Sam and I sort of became mini-celebrities.
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| Funny enough, we got second place. Woo! That means free champagne! |
It was a very unique experience to say the least, and surprisingly, we never met anyone afterward who was contentious or exhibited disapproval. Everyone we met was completely supportive and encouraging. It was very sweet. Though, admittedly, there was a hint of dishonesty to it. At least it was good to know that people on this cruise were warm and welcoming. It made the vacation that much more fun, and it meant a lot to me personally. It was also pretty exciting to be recognized in various places on the ship and in port.
After the game show, we stumbled back to our stateroom and discovered someone waiting for us in the bed!
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| AWW IT'S A LITTLE RAT CREATURE WAITING TO EAT MY TOES OFF! |
Sam and I were both very drunk at this point. We were also worked up from all the excitement of the day. I decided I needed to take a walk around the ship. I wanted to explore more and use up some of that extra energy. I wasn't tired at all, even though it was around 2 am. So I went down to the promenade deck.
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| Nothing lulls me to sleep quite like walking underneath some heavy lifeboats in the ocean air. |
And then, according to the following footage, I LEGITIMATELY LOST MY MIND.
From the promenade deck I made my way back up to the pool deck, just to see what it was like at 2 am.
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| Not a lot happening, oddly enough. I guess they don't want people to drown or something? |
From there I went to the highest decks on the ship, decks 14 and 15. Somewhere around there I found the arcade!
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| I remember sitting in those orange car seats at the way back for a while. I have no idea why. |
From there I just walked where ever the HELL I WANTED TO.
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| You expect me to know where this is?? Hey, I consider myself lucky that I'm still on the ship! |
On deck 15 there was a public sun deck. Of course, at night, that deck is rendered useless.
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| I DID see some teenagers having a pow wow! They left quickly after my old cranky bones wandered through their territory. Little did they know that I was just as scared of them as they were of me. |
The highest decks had some stunning views of the ship at night.
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| Something about the blue lights... they made me very sleepy... |
When I wandered to the very front of the ship I found these weird over-sized wicker couches! They were actually really comfortable.
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| A little... TOO... comfortable... |
I lay down on one of them, just to see what it was like, and quickly found myself dozing. Since I'd rather not die of exposure, I decided it was time for bed. I made my way back to the cabin for a badly needed deep sleep. What. A. Day.
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