Adriatic Adventure: Zagreb Part Uno

Oh, hello there. I didn't see you come in. Welcome! You're just in time, for I've recently returned from an incredible, life changing, insanely drunk adventure! Now shut that beautiful mouth of yours and hear my drunken tales.

Almost a year ago, my friend from college (let's refer to her as Nina, just for the purposes of this blog) invited me to go traveling with her, and I couldn't refuse. After much deliberation, we decided to book a tour for people our age that started in Croatia, went through Montenegro and Albania, and ended in Greece. Sixteen days, four countries, and a whole lot of food and drinking opportunities. All accommodation and transportation was included in the price, as well as some meals. Who could resist visiting four new countries in two weeks?? NO ONE. No one, I tell you! No. One. Not a one! Nope! Nadie. That was Spanish. You're welcome.

June 20th was our departure date, and lemme tell you, I had never been so glad to get the heck out. Life in New York was becoming one big ball of crazy, and a visit to another continent was just what the doctor ordered. And by doctor I mean my mind. And by mind I mean my beer. Yes, my beer. It comforts me better than any of you two-bit judgmental clowns.

The website advised us to pack light. If any of you know me, you know my definition of packing light is to "pack diet", or to pack so much you end up losing a few pounds by the end of the vacation. Once Nina told me to look up the actual definition, (thanks a lot for ruining all the things, dictionary.com. Asswipe.) I realized that that would be impossible for this trip. So I needed to somehow fit all my stuff into a duffel bag and a backpack.

Somehow, SOMEHOW, I did it. I had to sacrifice my porcelain china and my 10 lbs bag of toiletries, though. *sad face emoticon*

The day of our flight finally arrived! Nina's family graciously picked us up and drove us to the airport.

We be travelin' in style.

We got to the airport, checked in, and I IMMEDIATELY NEEDED A DRINK. So I got two and pretended Nina was drinking the other one.

NEWSFLASH, SHE WASN'T. Liver, cram it, you'll thank me later.

Our eight hour flight to Munich went seamlessly. For me at least. For our little munchkin dumpling of destruction, i.e. Nina, flight was a concept better left to birds and Japanese monster robots, not human beings.

Poor thing was too sober to sleep on the plane.

We needed food, though. So off to a German food counter we went. As is typical for me, I got enough to feed an entire family.

Crepe with ham and cheese, and sausages in a water bowl. I REGRET NOTHING.

Our flight from Munich to Zagreb was only an hour. We had arranged for a car to pick us up, and by the GRACE OF GOD, our driver showed up. Not that, you know, I had any doubts, you know, at all, or anything. Of course. Heh. Heh heh.

He took us directly to the joining hostel, where we would meet our guide and our group in a few hours. We took our luggage upstairs and scoped out the rooms we had for the night.

Yup, it's a hostel, all right. But the beds were surprisingly comfy. AND THERE WAS A BAR IN THE LOBBY.

The view from the room was a little different from my view in New York.

The hills are alive... or they have eyes... or both?

Once we unpacked and settled everything, we set out to explore the neighborhood. Our hostel was in the center of the city. It was on a street lined with dozens of restaurants, bars, and cafes, and it was a five minute walk from one of the main squares.

You know, there's only so much cute I can handle before I explode...

We walked down this infuriatingly adorable street and noticed a giant cathedral to our left. We took a side alley to get to it.

Nina is waiting for me impatiently. I'm an artist Nina, and artists need time. And attention. Lots of attention. PAY ATTENTION TO ME.

We got to the cathedral. Turns out, this was the Zagreb Cathedral. It was the tallest building in Croatia. One spire was in the process of being restored. 

Its Gothic and Neo-Gothic architecture makes the building very important. I dunno why. Go ask someone who knows stuff.

The site had been home to churches and cathedrals in various forms since before the 11th century. Tatars, earthquakes, and Ottomans have all been responsible for its restoration, reconstruction, and addition periods.

Yup. That there's a church, all right. OR WAIT. No, no. It's a church. It's definitely a church. UNLESS... No... no, I was right. BUT MAYBE.

I suddenly saw something to my left, standing by an open door, and GAH! WHAT IS THAT?! FOR ALL THINGS HOLY AND PURE WHAT IN THE WORLD IS...

Oh. It's just Nina in a shadow. Jeez, that looks all sorts of scary. What is her problem? Anyway, on the sides of the cathedral were these large walls, built during the renaissance to protect the Cathedral from the Ottoman invasions.

At the time the towers could see invading armies. Now it can only see my walk of shame.

The back of the Cathedral was stunning. Almost made me rethink my life and its hedonism.

ALMOST.

We walked back to the entrance of the Cathedral, and noticed the simplistic beauty of the church square.

GOLD PEOPLE ON A STICK.

Tired of feeling guilty for our unpardonable litany of sins, we walked down the hill toward one of the main plazas. There was a space exhibition in a giant bubble thing.

Inside there were exhibits on climate change. I was HOPING it would be about impending doom from asteroids but, well, I guess we can't win them all.

The plaza was busy with activity.

And busy with Nina ruining my shot. From there, we walked back to the hostel to meet our guide and group. We made our introductions, and reviewed all the things we were going to do in Croatia. Then, all together, we went to a restaurant down the street for some grub. And wine. Mostly wine. With a side of grub.

I know, I know, it looks like someone pooed on my plate. But I promise, it was delicious. Traditional Croatian beef stew on homemade gnocchi. The stew kinda reminded me of barbecue sauce a little bit. YAHMMAY.

After dinner our guide took us on an orientation walk of the city. It was getting dark, and all the orange streetlights winked on.

Then we found a cathedral that looked like it had a quilt for a roof. Bet it was warm and cozy up there.

Our guide then took us to the top of a nearby hill, where a lot of young people come to hang out, drink, and listen to live music.

Once we reached the top of the hill, we were ASSAULTED by an incredible view of the city.

Hey! There are them those things that I saw'd today!

From the hill, we walked back to the hostel, and turned in for the night. The next day would be a busy one, and this little drunk monster needed his beauty rest. Also he was jet lagged. I'm talking about myself if you didn't pick up on that. G'NIGHT. Stay tuned for Part Deiueox (two in French)!