Adriatic Misadventure: The Surreal Plitvice Lakes & Arrival in Split

"Gah. Waking up bright and early after a night of drinking and card games is difficult. WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED!? I know I wouldn't have. But, well, here we are. Ain't nothing we can do about that now, is there? Just gotta live with our choices, and try to move on, and hope the big guy upstairs has mercy. Or at least lets it rain vodka. Hair of the dog, hair of the dog."

-Note to myself, June 2015

So we all awoke and dragged our sorry asses to the hotel lobby. Then we walked towards the park. The Plitvice National Park is huge, and there are dozens of ways to walk through it. Our guide suggested a specific route which would be a 5-6 hour hike. It would enable us to see almost all of the park's glorious and numerous natural wonders. After evaluating our options, we decided to follow the guide's advice. The park is so huge, it has its own bus line! So we got to one of the bus stops, and after a few minutes, a large automobile with a train of cars behind it pulled up. We got on, and off we went to start our adventure.

Thankfully, I'm never too hung over for a selfie. NEVER. 

After about a ten minute drive to the entrance, we got off the bus and entered the park. It didn't take long to see why this area was so unique.

A quiet, peaceful lake. Sadly, photos just don't do this place justice.

Since we began our hike so early, there was almost no one around. The peace and tranquility was tangible.

The park was too wet for conventional dirt paths, so all the walkways were wooden planks on stilts.

There was an unexpected effect of walking on wooden planks above the water. Even though the paths were clearly man-made, it felt as if you were a part of the lake, as if you were gently floating above it.

Our first encounter with these strange water wonders was when we saw a hole to nowhere.

The water was flowing somewhere, but to where? And how? And why? It kinda looked like something Alice could fall down. That clumsy twerp. Thankfully, we didn't see a rabbit running late. The fact that these paths were sitting atop lakes, rivers, and waterfalls seemed physically impossible. How can they remain stable enough to have hundreds of visitors walk over them every day?

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHERE THE FOUNDATIONS FOR THAT PATH ARE. It's clearly witchcraft.

At times it was unnerving, yet simultaneously enchanting, to be walking directly over a waterfall.

As we continued down the path, we were soon met with countless, and I mean countless, spectacular waterfalls.

I found one!

And another one!

Here's one, too!

IS THAT A VOLCANO?? Nope!! STILL ANOTHER WATERFALL.

You'd think after a while we'd have gotten tired of all these majestic wonders. WELL YOU'RE WRONG. Dead wrong. Oh man, I cannot tell you enough how wrong you are. It's almost comical to realize just the level of wrongness you've achieved. Then I forced a passerby to take a picture of Nina and me.

She'd make such a good beard.

One thing I noticed was that from far away, the waterfalls seemed very peaceful and inviting. But once we were up close, it became clear just how much force and energy this falling water has.

As cool as it would be to shower in that, I kinda think it would knock me unconscious.

So instead of having like, FIVE HUNDRED videos of waterfalls, I combined all of the best ones we saw into two short videos. Enjoy!

I especially like the last few seconds of that second video. But mostly because I got to annoy Nina. So we continued along the wooden path, when suddenly it ended at a small port. In order to see the other half of the park, we needed to become pirates.

Perfect name for my new ship. Because as a pirate, that's my main method of attack. And defense. And everything in between. Speaking of which, c'mere, you, I got something for ya...

The boat ride was about fifteen to twenty minutes. We floated by several more waterfalls as our new friends and I played word games.

I won all the games. ALL OF THEM. EVERYONE SHUT UP I'M A PIRATE.

We reached the other side of the lake and disembarked. I was very disappointed with the lack of pirate pillaging, but, well, maybe next time. Near the dock there was a convenience store where I could buy more water. That seems to be all I ever buy, doesn't it?

Now if only I could find the entrance... ... ... ... What's an ENTARNCE I wonder?...

Once I purchased my liquid (I am fully aware of how weird that sounds), we continued along the wooden paths to discover, YOU GUESSED IT, MOOOOORE WATERFALLS!

There's one! And there's one! AND THERE'S ONE! AND THERE AND THERE AND THEREANDTHEREANDTHERE

As we hiked along, suddenly there was a fork in the path. One continued along the side of the lake, while the other went straight up into the mountain beside us.

It looked as if this path went into a cave.

Since we were relentless adventurers, we decided to take a risk, and explore the cave above us.

IS THIS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE BORN? GAH.

The path went directly into the mountain, then more stairs went straight up the side of it. We kept climbing and climbing, wondering where this would eventually take us. As it turned out, it took us to the very top. The view of the lakes from there was incredible.

Heyyyy, doesn't that look like the Avatar set??

From the top of the mountain, we could see in the distance the largest waterfall in the park.

Now that's what I call a "Fall of Water" I.E. A "WATER. FALL," if you will. IF, I may be so bold.

We checked our maps, and decided to try to get to the bottom of that gigantic waterfall. We set off, and about twenty minutes later, we finally reached it.

Spectacular. The sound of the water alone was breathtaking.

Now that it was later on in the day, we did notice that there was a much higher volume of tourists. At times, because the wooden planks were so narrow, there would be a traffic jam, which got frustrating. I definitely recommend coming to the park earlier on, to avoid all the idiots being dumb. 

I wanted a photo to commemorate all the exercise we got. All jokes aside, this park was unforgettable. There aren't many places in the world where you could walk atop a waterfall, discover caves, and climb mountains. Though I do wish it were possible to swim in the lakes, apparently it was illegal to do so. I assume it was because the local government wanted to preserve the pristine lakes, and since people can be stupid, swimming in them could upset the native ecosystem. Or something. I dunno.

I'm a drunk little adventurer! Who also has to pee, strangely...

We were reaching the end of our hike. Right before we exited, we were able to see one last stunning waterfall, this time from the top of it. I recorded it in an attempt to capture the dizzying feeling it gave me.

Two o'clock came around, and we all headed back to the hotel to retrieve our things, and get to our next destination, the city of Split. While we were waiting for the bus, I swore our guide, in all seriousness, told us, "Before we get on the bus, if anyone has to take a dump and NOT clog the toilet, this is your chance." When I asked him later if he actually said this, he denied it. I may have misheard him, but man, did I have a good laugh for about twenty minutes. There is only so many clogged toilets one can handle before they lose their mind, am I right? For me, I can't handle more than three.

Not long after, our bus arrived, and we got on. Our ride to Split was a few hours, and along the way we made a stop so people could use the restrooms. The view from this highway rest stop was amazing.

This inlet leads directly to the Mediterranean. This was our first view on the trip of the Adriatic.

We got back on the bus, and continued on towards the city of Split. After a short nap, and my friend Sam's amazing admission that he had dreamt he was a cloud once, we came across this view:

My first view of Split, Croatia.

The bus dropped us off at the hostel, and Nina and I were once again rooming together in a double.

Something she'd soon learn to regret... heh heh

We all quickly cleaned up, and set out for a well-deserved dinner.

You can dress us up, but you can't take us out!

We walked down the street to an authentic Croatian restaurant. Nina and I shared an appetizer of smoked ham, which they make in-house.

Without a doubt some of the best smoked meat I've ever had.

For my main course, I decided to order something I couldn't even pronounce. It was called cevapcici, if my memory serves me correctly.

Ground meat molded into a sausage shape, with tons of herbs and spices. It reminded me a lot of Greek gyros.

After dinner and a few beers, we had the option to go into the old city to check out a few bars and clubs. However, Nina and I were so exhausted from the day, that we opted to go back to the hostel and sleep. In retrospect, I think that was a great decision, because the next day... oh man... you guys... I got some crazy stuff coming up... JUST YOU WAIT!