International Sake Day and Nite Tours

Today we all woke up together like a happy little family and had a big free buffet breakfast. I didn’t take a picture this time cuz I pretty much get the same thing every morning AND HOW MANY PICTURES OF EGGS AND PANCAKES DO YOU FREAKIN PEOPLE NEED, MY GOD!!! After breakfast we decided to have a leisurely day again and hang out by the pool.

Mmmm old bald creepy men in banana hammocks. WHAT. A. VIEW.

I did my best to tan my pasty white body,

OH GOD!! I'M WHITE!!! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME!!???

But I think we all know it would take seven suns to get me to tan. On the plus side though, I DIDN’T BURN!!

Dismembered hand coming out of the back of my skull. Sexypants.

After the pool, we all showered, and hopped on the shuttle to the Strip. We wanted to check out the Gondola ride at the Venetian and possibly see the pirate show at Treasure Island.

Guys, I love this tower thing. I love it. Just wanna CHOP IT UP INTO LITTLE PIECES AND DEVOUR EVERYONE INSIDE IT. OM NOM NOM

The Gondolas looked SO CUTE!!

Like little nautical Teddy Bears of love!

And then there was a little man that would sing for you!

TOO BAD I HATE SINGING AND MUSIC.

Unfortunately, the indoor part of the ride was closed for repairs, so only the outdoor part was available. And it was twenty bucks. To ride on a boat in circles in a pool for ten minutes….THANKSNOTHANKS. So we walked by Treasure Island, saw that the shows were only at night,

I need some pirates!!! ...Butt pirates...

Passed by some random waterfalls,

This desert is surprisingly lush...

And ended up at the Fashion Show Mall. After such a busy and stressful day, we decided to stop at RA Sushi for a bite. Coincidentally, it was International Sake Day!

I wish every day could be some-kind-of-liquor day!

Which apparently means $1 Sake and $5 Sake flights. Not. Too. Shabby.

Can I drink the wooden platter thing too?

For an appetizer I ordered deep fried rice balls topped with lobster and a spicy sauce

A cross between Onigiri and Italian rice balls. mmm

And for the main dish I got teriyaki udon noodles. DeRIsH!

Sweet, sweet racism.

Moosh-face got yakisoba but couldn’t finish it so she had to take hers to go. Which was actually a great idea. Nothing like noodles to come home to after a night of drinking AMIRIGHT!?

She can lift giant over-sized bowls LIKE A CHAMPION

FOR DESSERT, YOU ASK??? ICE CREAM MOCHI!!!!!! AAAUUUGHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! HOLY FUCK YES!!!

I'm pretty sure they were the same ones you can get from Trader Joe's. LOLZIES

Then we accosted the waitress and made her take a photo of us being cute and DRUNK. Srsly that sake was strong. Real strong.

As strong as a bull in a pickle jar topped with maple syrup! Is that an expression? IT IS NOW. 

After dinner we rushed back to the hotel to get ready for the Nite Tours VIP Party Passes we got included in our booking package.

Clearly we need a lot of work.

Then I took a mirror shot of the power of three.

I am obsessed with these mirror shots. I LOVE EM. 

UMMM SOOOOOO the “VIP” Party thing was ACTUALLY kinda lame. We met at a lounge IN OUR HOTEL that we could’ve gotten into for free ANYWAY and the club we went to WAS ABOVE THAT. I guess it was nice we didn’t have to take a cab?

This used to be the Playboy Club! Back when it was somewhat relevant.

It was also a very slow night, so in the lounge Allie, Michelle, and I got some really strong hookah.

Wisps of dignity and class escaping from my lips... whoa. poetic. sorry. I apologize profusely.

We became such classy broads that we had to take pictures of each of us smoking it.

Looks like her soul is like, PEACE OWT BITCH. AND THOSE TITS! OMIGOSH

This is something we could’ve NEVER done in New York! Teeheehee #badgurlsVegas

Helloooo, purple Morticia Adams!

Then Michelle smoked so much she turned black and white.

It was kinda freaky. Pleasantville, anyone?

After we got significantly light headed and our mouths tasted like smoke and blue Gatorade, we headed upstairs to the Moon Nightclub. The views were spectacular.

Being lightheaded when you're fifty stories up is AWESOME and also terrifying.

They had lady dancers which was cool!

MY DREAM JOB.

And I got a little over excited.

I look like someone stepped on my face.

Then we got bored and took photos of ourselves with the Vegas skyline.

I look very light headed here, no? c'es moi? Je neu se plaus missiour petit feet?

They turned out pretty well I think.

white teeth and tits. That's all we are.

All in all, it was a fun night, but mostly because I’m with some pretty freakin’ amazingly awesome and fun people. The VIP tour thing was a total rip off, they didn't seem to have known we were coming, the DJ at the club was the WORST, and the clientele seemed to be made up of mostly creepy Euro trash. Oh, also the bartender tried to rip me off by giving me some random tab. But me two smart for the him, no? One of the guys took a light-up foam stick thing and stuck it in my face. I slapped him and told him to offer me a drink first before he sticks glow-in-the-dark phallic objects at me. After that, we went downstairs, got a late night pizza, and passed out somewhere. I don't remember where, though. Oh, and then Allie and Michelle emailed me the pictures they took, and this was my inbox:

Oddly enough, they did not coordinate their email titles. Just coincidence. Gross.