Feeling Up Stingrays, Creepy Voodoo Museum, Ghosts, & Moscow Mules!

This morning I woke up to the lovely sounds of Zoe screaming in my ear, "WAKE UP YOU HEATHEN BANSHEE BEFORE I KNOCK YOU INTO THE MIDDLE OF NEXT WEEK!"

So I did. But then she knocked me into next week anyway. 

Once I time traveled back to the present, I showered, which took my normal eight hours, which is really only that long so I can inconvenience everyone. Once we were all ready, we walked toward the French Quarter. Today was Aquarium Day!

In the middle of our walk it started down pouring. I tried to take a cool photo but Nicole's thigh had other plans.

We needed nosh. So we stopped at a coffee house called C.C.'s to gorge ourselves on baked goods and caffeine.

Sausage and omelet croissant and a salted caramel frozen coffee with whipped cream. I was hyper and jittery for the next twelve hours AND I DON'T REGRET A THING.

The Aquarium was down by the river over by Canal street, so we had to walk to the opposite side of the Quarter. It was a long walk, but thankfully the rain had let up after we ate. When we had gone to the Zoo the previous day, they had a discounted price for a Zoo and Aquarium Combo Ticket. I recommend doing that to save yourself a couple bucks. In addition, once we got to the Aquarium, we got a free ticket to the Insectarium (don't ask, I'll visit that horror show in a few posts) and for three bucks more, an IMAX movie ticket! Not a bad deal, if I may so myself. In the lobby they had quite a show of (I'm assuming dead) sharks.

Zoe was so scared she had to crawl along the floor until the first exhibit.

The first section of the Aquarium was Mayan flavored.

That's a lot of fish in one little tank. They created an artificial current for them to swim in, which seemed to be the only thing they ever wanted do. Hey, no judgement. Gotta do what you gotta do.

Then we saw this insane person swimming around in one of the tanks as if he were a fish!

His home was right behind that reef.

We continued into the next exhibit, turned to one of the tanks, AND AAAAUUUGHHH!!

THERE HE WAS AGAIN. HE WAS TRYING TO FOLLOW US.

We raced into the next exhibit and lost him. OR DID WE!? What a crazy person! I think he wanted to steal my camera. Little does he know, though, IT'S NOT WATERPROOF. Idiot.

Then we found ourselves in a tunnel, surrounded by various sea creatures.

And two stingrays trying to get it on. Ugh.

The Mayan area had all these neat buildings and decorations that gave you the feel you were either snorkeling off the Yucatan or in a cenote.

Poor statue is mad he's missing a quarter of his face. Reminds me of Amanda Bynes.

The exhibits suddenly shifted into deep jungle terrain. We were in the Amazon!

Then we learned how similar I am to a Pacu fish!

Because they get drunk without even trying! Just like meeee.

The exhibit had tree houses and walkways suspended in the air.

I feel like an Ewok!

Speaking of Ewoks, Zoe lost Bobby. So we formed a rescue party!

A drunk rescue party of one.

Once we found Bobby, we somehow ended up face to face with some pretty sarcastic looking penguins.

They're throwing some shade and I will have NONE of it.

Then my camera took some pretty terrible photos of penguins in motion.

I get job with National Geographic now please thank you bye.

Then this otter went CRAZY and at the very end of the video, smashes his face into a rock. He was trying too hard to be cute. 

That's what happens when you're an otter and you start drinking before 1 pm. 

As Nicole put it, he is EMBARRASSED. Then we saw this drunk otter's gift shop!

Better than Udderly Otters. Do otters have udders? God, I hope not. And I hope so... I'm conflicted.

Next to the gift shop was an area where you could pet the sting rays!

The barbs have been removed, so no reenactments of Steve Irwin today, please, Nicole? PLEASE!?

As Nicole repeatedly felt up the sting rays to the point that HR had to be called in, my curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to try it!

C'mere little Stingyyy

In order to really harass them you had to really get in there. REALLY. GET. IN. THERE. GET. IN. GET. IT. IN.

They were wet and slimy like Lady Gaga after a cold shower.

Once HR and the cops arrived and we were thrown out of the play area with a misdemeanor, we continued on to the next room. The theme seemed to be inspired by the local habitat... which would mean the swamp... and in the swamp there are people... and if there are swamp people then...

DELIVERANCE. AAAAUUUGHHH!

We hightailed outta there real fast. Then I felt like going deep sea diving.

Look! I found my twin!

I dove down and saw this crazy big shark.

Really lettin' it go there, huh. Maybe you should just be eating salad for a while...

And then a turtle rose gracefully from the depths!

TO TERRORIZE MANKIND.

We exited the aquarium with at least some of our dignity intact. Then we ventured over to the IMAX theater to get our 3D on!

They had beer and frozen rum based drinks in the lobby. I LOVE THIS TOWN.

We saw a movie on Great White Sharks, which we all decided would be the best thing to watch since Zoe was deathly afraid of them. But maybe she learned something that day. Maybe she learned that vilifying sharks is counterproductive to maintaining a stable ecosystem in the ocean. And maybe she felt bad. Because she should. She should feel guilty and ashamed and embarrassed and humiliated.

After the movie we walked up to Canal Street and found an Arby's, which was serendipitous because I was drunk and hungry and had this HUGE craving for curly fries.

CRAVING SATISFIED.

One of Bobby's goals in New Orleans was to get a tattoo. He had done a lot of research on finding the right artist, and he discovered that the tattoo parlor where he wanted to go wasn't too far. So off we went! We walked down Magazine street, stepped into a glass blowing shop (which didn't allow any photography) for a bit, and then passed by the World War II museum. I had heard from four separate locals that this museum was the best in the city. Zoe and I decided to duck in and have a look.

The first thing you see are huge war planes and a forties-style train station. This initiates your tour of the museum!

We were sucked in. We went to the ticket counter and noticed that the museum closed at 5 pm, and it was already 4 o'clock. We asked the lady there if that was enough time to see everything. She looked at us and shook her head and said, "Honestly, no. If you can come back another day you should. There's a ton of stuff here that would take you at least two and half hours to get through." The price was pretty steep as well, so we decided to try the museum another day. So off we went to meet back up with the others at the tattoo parlor!

And Bobby got a tattoo! It's an awesome tattoo. It's of Zoe eating a Cantaloupe. Artistic perfection.

Since his tattoo was going to take about thirty six hours, Nicole, Kyle, Zoe, and I decided to explore the Voodoo Museum in the French Quarter. We rushed back so we could get there before it closed.

We made it in! ...I think.

The museum was small, but was able to effectively communicate the feel and intention behind the religion. Although it is commonly associated with black magic, evil, and zombies, it's actually a rich conglomeration of several cultures and spiritualities, including Afro-Caribbean, Native American, and Catholicism. They all join forces to create an ideology meant to guide its followers through life with love and compassion. Voodoo is hardly ever used for evil.



 

Their altars may look terrifying, but it's necessary to put aside conventional western preconceptions in order to understand the real workings of Voodoo.

And yes, Voodoo dolls are REAL! But they're not really used to manipulate people or turn them into zombies. They're more to enrich that person's life, to help guide them to make beneficial decisions so they can attain success and happiness.

Though they still look pretty terrifying...

They had wishing altars as well!

Drop in a penny and you could get your wish! It's a little more complicated than that though, you have to go through an entire ritual.

The more closely I analyzed each altar, the less scary they appeared. Soon, I was able to see how vibrant they were. The range of colors and the intricacies of the carvings were incredible.

These altars were all hand carved as well.

After the Voodoo museum, and after talking with the curator who completely freaked us out with his giant eyes and talking with his hand over his mouth and his ability to nonchalantly talk about his racist snakes and komodo dragon, Kyle went back to the house to shower up while the rest of us looked for a place to grab some drinks and dinner. Our friend Nathan took us to the Royal Oyster House. Which had an amazing and very extensive menu.

As we sat down, we received a call from Kyle. He was completely freaked out. He told us that as he was leaving the house, he turned around quickly and saw the back of someone's head as they walked into the living room. He followed them into the room, but as he turned the corner, there was no one there. Chills went up his spine, and he quickly left the house. Since the incident, we talked with the landlord who said it was Eie (pronounced Ah-EE-uh), a twelve-year-old slave girl ghost who was very mischievous and loved to steal people's keys and hide them. ... ... .... THAT'S NEW ORLEANS FOR YA.

After hearing that, we needed food and drank and we needed it NOW. So we got some deep fried gator, char-grilled (or char-broiled?) oysters, crawfish cakes, and baked scramp (shrimp) tortellini. Oh man, it was so good. SO. GOOD.

LOOK AT ALL THAT CHEESY SCRAMPY GOODNESS.

On the drink menu, I noticed they had a "Royal Shooter", which was basically a Bloody Mary shot with a RAW OYSTER. We had to do it. WE HAD TO.

AND DO IT WE DID.

After dinner we walked drunkenly along Bourbon Street, until Zoe and Nicole felt the need to accost a police horse.

This is now run-in #2 with the cops today?

Then they tried to look so innocent and naive after the cops told them to leave their horse alone.

They're just so proud of themselves, aren't they?

Then I took a picture with this guy!

He deserves to be immortalized on this blog for his dinner recommendations!

But he was on a roll! When thinking about what we should do next, he suggested this really cool bar on North Rampart. It's where lots of locals go! AND THEY HAD $5 MOSCOW MULES.

WHOO-EEE That ginger beer!! To this DAY I can still taste it!

For those of you who don't know, a Moscow Mule is vodka, ginger beer, and lime. It's delicious, wakes you up, and then knocks you on your ass. JUST LIKE ME. 

From the bar, we were so drunk and tired, we immediately took a cab back to the house and passed the HELL OUT. Oh and then I saw someone or something standing a few feet from my bed in the middle of the night. It wasn't anyone who was in the house. After a few seconds they left, but walked through the wrong door, and I mean they walked THROUGH the door. ... ... ... OKAY GOOD NIGHT NEW ORLEANS THANKS.