Baby's Day Out in Paris

So today was our BIG DAY IN PARIS AND WE WEREN’T GONNA WASTE IT. We woke up early, and walked towards our first landmark: the Opera House. Along the way we passed another stunning church.

At least I think it's a church...

 We picked up some juice at this familiar chain store:

Remember this, my Chinese Opera friends??

And for breakfast we got a ham, egg, and cheese gallette.

Good breakfast, no?

AND THE CHEESE WAS STRETCHY.

I HAD A SAD.

So we got to the Opera House, which was adorned with countless statues, mostly of busty ladies holding things.

Very busty

Inside, we paid 6 euros (the student discount teehee) for the entrance fee. We walked in and our first sight was…

Frogs?

We got a great view of the main staircase.

IF ONLY THOSE DUMB PEOPLE WOULD GET OUT OF THE SHOT

And saw more statues holding things.

I wanna hold things too!

We caught a glimpse of the theater,

WHERE IS BOX 5??

And then Michelle and I reenacted the Phantom of the Opera in the lobby.

Stephanie took this before we were ready.

AND NOW IT’S SHOWTIIIIMMEEE

Everyone absolutely loved it. They threw roses and we modestly accepted them.

AND THEN I VENGEFULLY TOOK THIS OF STEPHANIE.

Like a deer in the headlights.

Then I found the venue for my upcoming cotillion.

Invites are in the mail.

I snapped this great view of the streets of Paris.

One day this city WILL BE MINE.

 So we left the Opera House, and went to a nearby department store so Michelle could get HER PRECIOUS LADURÉE MACARONS THAT SHE WOULDN’T SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT. They were pretty good though, even if I was the only man ordering them.

MACARONS ARE MANLY SHUT UP.

From there we went further south, and passed the Louvre again.

But we're not going insiiide yeeetttt

So we crossed a bridge,

THE TOWER IS FOLLOWING US.

AND FOUND THE NOTRE DAME.

I could just eat it up!

There Michelle and I became actors again and reenacted the Hunchback of Notre Dame. BUT STEPHANIE TOOK ANOTHER PICTURE BEFORE WE WERE READY AS:LKFDJS:LDFK

Stephanie is a pro at doing that I think.

Here we go!

Neither of us knew any songs from it though...

I took this picture of the interior,

Dazzling. Ermahgerd.

And this of the stunning stain glass windows.

So many colors!

AND HERE’S A GARGOYLE RUN AWAY.

Unless it's a friendly sexy gargoyle...

 AND THE CATHEDRAL FROM THE SIDE OMG STEVEN IS GREAT.

I want to build a 3D puzzle now.

Afterwards, we walked further south, and were feeling a little, ahem, parched. So we rested for a bit and had a cocktail!

Wine with some kind of liquor. Sweet and strong. Just like me.

Then we passed by the Pantheon.

Excuse me, could you make this a little bigger?

We walked further south to the entrance of the catacombs. We were very excited to go underneath the city and see thousands of skulls and bones… BUT THEN THIS HAPPENED.

DAMMIT!!!

We were so disappointed we decided to have another drink. Of wine.

A bottle of it, in fact.

And then had some cheese and a croquet monsieur.

Mmm the French sure know a thing or two about comfort food.

Fortunately, the food and drink completely cheered us up. SO WE GOT MORE FOOD.

Chocolate chip brioche.

And a chocolate and apple thing. Yum.

BUT OUR TASTE FOR THE MACABRE WAS UNSATISFIED. So we did the next best thing, we went to a CEMETERY, the Montparnasse Cemetery no less.

At least we did SOMETHING oriented with death. I mean, really.

From there we walked back to the north. Along the river we sat for a bit to listen to these amazingly talented musicians.

And this guy was either doing some clowning performance art or was a complete psychopath. He would imitate and scare people walking by, and that was pretty hilarious, but I couldn’t tell if I was laughing with him or at him.

Let's say both?

So we got to the Louvre around 6, for we realized that admittance was completely free for people under 26.

I DON'T FEEL OLD ANYMORE.

But first I forced Stephanie to take a picture of me in front of this arch.

I liked the shirt...I mean, arch.

And then Michelle was trying to do something to the pyramid... I couldn’t really figure out what but the picture turned out great I think.

Don't you think so, too?

So we got into the Louvre, which was surprisingly not crowded at ALL, and found the Venus de Milo.

She could venus my milo any day.

And she was doing some CRACK, lemme tell you..

ooo GURL! Crack on the RUNWAY.

And then my homegirl Athena and I were being sassy to Michelle.

She deserved a sassin'

And then there was penis.

 And more penis.

And some more.

Oh and here’s a penis.

Is that a chipmunk? No, it’s a penis.

There’s a penis.

Then this person had boobies AND a penis.

I couldn't stop giggling. Also the mattress looks SO COMFORTABLE WTF.

And then Cleopatra got her nip bitten by a snake.

Story of my life.

And then the Mona Lisa was all like, STEVEN GET A GRIP.

Bitch.

Then Horus was like, LEAVE HIM ALONE.

Thanks, Horus. He's got my back.

Then we discovered the ruins of a medieval fortress in the basement of the museum.

SO COOL.

We couldn’t figure out if it had been found there underneath or if it was brought in.

I think I'll decorate my family room like this.

When we exited the museum it was night, and I got a shot of the museum all lit up.

It's aight.

On our way back to the hotel, we stopped at another café and enjoyed some more red wine,

And I'm still not wined out.

Some steak tartare,

Mmm raw steak.

And some escargots.

Michelle's first time having snails. She thought it was absolutely delicious. Shell and all.

We finished dinner, and headed back to the hotel for some much needed sleep. It was a very long but fun filled day. Now I know why so many people adore this city! Tomorrow morning we return to Kaiserslautern!