Ancient Korean History (and aliens)

So today Greg and his awesome friend Sue took us out to Gyeongju, about an hour outside of Ulsan. Gyeongju was the ancient capital city of the Sila dynasty, which was the first kingdom to unite all of Korea (with the help of ancient aliens). We started the day off by having a little snack, called Gyeongjuban or something like that I don't care where's my beer oh there it is:

Kinda looks like a nip...

It was a sort of shortbread cake with red bean paste in the middle.

But tasted a lot better..

We got them super fresh and piping hot, and lemme just say, FREAKING DELISH. LIKE. DELISH DELISH.

Those mounds on the table are NOT mud, but red bean paste you gross freaks. Jesus.

Then we were off to see some hills THAT WEREN'T ACTUALLY HILLS.

YET THEY HAD EYES

So apparently during this dynasty they built these mounds as tombs for their kings within the palace walls. The servants and stuff sometimes would also be buried (alive) inside. They haven't done as much excavation on these sites as you would expect, but we were able to find one that had been opened, examined, and turned into a museum.

A little hobbit-like isn't it?

Inside, was a king within his wooden coffin (built by aliens presumably).

Underneath the mounds were a crapload of rocks, and then the coffin with the king inside

Not a bad way to go AMIRIGHT

After touring the tombs, we walked through a really beautiful park, complete with mystical trees.

Lemme just get my Steel Jade Sword..

AND FIGHT MICHELLE YEOH TO THE DEATH

And happened upon the oldest astronomical observatory in Asia. Ph. Whatever.

That also served as a really great chimney..

Then we walked along a pond...

If only it were filled with vodka...

Saw some more alien tombs in the distance...

puts the grand TITANS (Tee-Tahns(teet-ons)) to shame..

And were off to lunch! Oh and along the way...

A pagoda had gone rogue in the nineties and crashed through this building. National tragedy yup.  Many, many deaths.

The food at lunch was AMAZING. Korean style beef patties!

excuse me, can i have some more plates, please?

After lunch we went to Seokguram grotto, which was a Buddhist monastery built during the 700's but was lost until the Japanese occupation, when a mail carrier hiking through the woods stumbled upon it. Today, it's one of the most precious and revered Buddhist monuments.

Hey! Save some sacred water for me!!

Basically, it's a remarkably preserved statue of Buddha inside a man made cave. The dome inside that roofs the Buddha is apparently of a technological design that wasn't supposed to have existed in Korea during its construction. Long story short, aliens built it. CLEARLY. I couldn't take pictures cuz apparently it has religious significance blah blah blah I don't care I need another shot. Oh thanks.

I see him! I see ET! It's allll soooo cleaarrr too mee nowww..

Lemme just say, it took a butt load of steps to get up to this thing.

Add two beers to your vision and you'll see what I mean..

But the view of the countryside was incredible.

On a clear day you can see the Sea of Japan from here

and humbling.

Good thing I'm already humble and great and perfect. I need to burp excuse me.

The whole place reeked of spirituality. Even the forest around it.

Their chipmunks have bushy tails! What's more spiritual than THAT!?

Afterwards we went back to Ulsan and got a beer.

FRIGGIN' GREAT ON DRAFT BTW

Well... maybe a few beers... and fried chicken might've been in there somewhere...

In Korea they have perfected the art of the beer pitcher..

It was another great day. OH and as a bonus, here are some more funny pictures:

We're related. Can't you tell?

Hi, I'd like a tall glass of rain, please?

CLEARLY, an alien

Aww!... ... Wait what? Wtf?!

The.. world's..best.. cvs?... like.. the pharmacy?

Where you can satisfy ALL your porking needs!!