Michelle's Oktobirthdayfest

Oof. So today is Michelle's 24th birthday! To celebrate, we woke up at 5 am in order to catch a bus leaving the base at 7:30 am. This lovely bus, or alcohol wagon as I referred to it as later on, was taking us to Munich for the city's world famous Oktoberfest. The ride from Ramstein to Munich was about 4-6 hours, so it was a good distance away. Around 11 am, Michelle and I were bored out of our minds, so we decided to start the festivities early and got some champagne which was available on board for 2 euro.

Hey, I'm surprised we were sober at 11 am.

The bus ride, though long, was comfortable. We got to see some really great views of the countryside.

And the day started out beautifully... STARTED OUT beautifully

So once we got to Munich, we were dropped off at the side entrance, next to the Bavaria statue.

Almost doesn't look real, huh. Oh and those people lying in front of it are passed out. Not napping. 

So here's some history on what the hell Oktoberfest is about. Basically, in the early nineteenth century a crowned prince was getting married to a princess and the town was invited to celebrate with them on the fields outside the city gates. It was so much fun that they held another round of festivities the next year. The celebration expanded each year to include agriculture, horse races, etc. and eventually breweries. Now it's infamous for its drunken revelry, food, and carnival attractions.

AND GIANT LADY STATUES WITH GIANT LADY PARTS.

We arrived around 2 pm. The tour guide warned us that this was the height of the celebration, so it would be very difficult to get in to a beer tent. THAT WAS A FRIGGIN UNDERSTATEMENT. Listen, I'm 5'5''. Apparently in Germany I'M VIRTUALLY THE SIZE OF A 4 YEAR OLD. The festival was packed with tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of GIANT DRUNK GERMAN PEOPLE. Everywhere you looked there were people either passed out, throwing up, sobbing hysterically on the ground, or peeing publicly. It was very, very overwhelming to say the least for this LEPRECHAUN (Fskjdghdgk). Each tent was packed and looked as if it'd be at least an hour wait to get in. So we opted to check out some of the food stands until the crowd level lightened up.

Stephanie got a giant over sized pretzel. Nice.

I got a bratwurst which was yummy.

Michelle got a cookie that women traditionally wear around their neck for some reason.

AND THEN MICHELLE AND I SPOTTED A FERRIS WHEEL YAY!!

WE GON BE ALL UP ON THAT. Stupid blonde girl with red glasses in front GETOUTTAMYWAY

From the line for the wheel we could see little Stephanie peering over a fence to catch a glimpse of us.

Adorable! And terrifying!

While we were waiting on line for the wheel, these two GIGANTIC and very drunk German men were standing behind us yelling at each other (or just talking unnecessarily loudly) and rubbing their beer bellies against my back. I was very uncomfortable and Michelle was about to punch him in the face. But.. it was chilly that day so at least we stayed warm. ... ... ....

Once we got on we could see the entire Oktoberfest from the sky.

Holy. Balls. That's a lot of people.

Once we got off the wheel it started to pour. It was so crowded and wet, we all decided to take a taxi from the fair and go to the REAL Hofbrauhaus. It was only about a 15 min cab ride away. AND IT WAS INDOORS. I suggest for anyone who goes to Oktoberfest NOT TO GO ON THE WEEKEND.

I WAS WET AND SCARED

So we got to the Hofbrauhaus and the crowd was significantly smaller than any of the beer tents we saw earlier. So we stuck around.

Michelle excitingly had an old Italian lady pushing into her bits the entire time.

The wait was a bit grueling, but once we got in we were so excited to be getting drinks and food, we completely forgot about the old lady, the rain, and the crowds outside.

SO EXCITED FOR BEER

Then, once the beer came, I did my best angry German man impression.

But seriously, I'm here till Thursday.

AND THEN I GOT SO EXCITED FOR THE COMING FOOD I TOOK A VIDEO:

And all was well. AND THEN THERE WAS A HALF OF A CHICKEN.

Then they started singing happy birthday and Michelle took the initiative and pretended IT WAS ALL FOR HER.

The Germans were frightened.

With all that beer I started to lose consciousness...

So Stephanie came up with a good idea..

AND MADE ME DRINK MORE.

There's no rest for the wicked.

And then the people next to Michelle were swaying back and forth and almost knocked her out. SO SHE DID THE ONLY THING SHE KNEW HOW:

She gave dirty looks.

So after we drank and ate our fill, we went back to the Oktoberfest grounds. That's where we were to meet the tour guide to go back to the bus. THEN I discovered the BEST RIDE, and made Stephanie and her friend Jake go on it. They represented us with great pride and dignity.

We went on a few more rides in the pouring rain, then crashed into the Pastry Tent, where we discovered a wonderland of dancing, music, lights, AND PASTRIES.

delicious?

Afterwards we walked back to the statue, met up with the tour guide, and she took us back to the bus. The ride home was long and we got stuck in traffic. I was so tired, though, that I didn't even notice or care. We got back to the base and Stephanie drove us back to her apartment, where we fell asleep. We got home at 8:30 am THE NEXT MORNING. The Oktoberfest trip lasted for more than 24 hours. It was intense, but SO MUCH FRIGGIN FUN!!!